Saturday, 6 August 2011

The Land of Neckties and 1000+ Islands

The first few days I was in Croatia I spent with my friend Jasna who I had met in Egypt. As a tour guide, she was able to link me up with a few local activities, like a visit to KrK island. Krk is pretty - the valleys are wooded and the hillsides are covered in pine, but overall the island is quite dry and notably barren higher up, and almost moon-like as it is described due to the rock exposures. Sort-of reminded me of Utah, minus the crowded beaches. (But if Utah did have beaches... I've never thought to ask what the fundamentalist Mormons do about swim wear. Is one spiritually vulnerable while swimming without the garments? Are there blessed bikinis? Two years in Utah, and I still have questions.)
 
But I digress. I got to watch a bunch of teens in one of Jasna's group make numerous attempts as water skiing. It made me feel better about my own experience with it - until you get the hang of it, you spend a lot of time skipping face-first off the water.
 
Plitvice National Park was the next stop, tagging along with another youth group from Belgium. They all seemed interested in what I was doing there, being one of only three people over the age of 30. Nice kids, but I spent most my time talking to the ex-army tour guide, Allen. (AKA, according to the kids, "the Bulldog".) It's a very pretty national park, very lush and green, filled with many waterfalls, emptying into turquoise colored lakes. (No, I did not try fishing in a National Park. (Besides, they looked like they were mostly carp, which can be good if prepared right, but..))
 
Starting to feel a little poor, and sick of hostels, I decided to camp out that night in Zagreb, the capital. Until it started raining about 1:00AM. I found a nice, dry, pub and wound up I spening the rest of the night with a couple locals who insisted on buying me beers until dawn.  Needless to say, the next day was a bit rough. Zagreb is cool, though, with a few nice large architecturally impressive squares, a good tram system where the conductors never check for tickets, a pretty National Opera House and Cathedral. The highlight, though, was meeting Elija. He's young local who invited me to stay at his place, took me around the city to show me the sites and talk about his country, and then, and then, invited me to stay at his place over the weekend while he went to visit his girlfriend in the North. Me, a perfect stranger.
 
One of my favorite museums so far is in Zagreb - the Museum of Broken Relationships. People from all over the world have donated items with personal meaning from past relationships. Some are tragic, some are funny, and many are some combination of both. One was a Frisbee a young woman got from her boyfriend on their anniversary. (Note to self - never give a girlfriend a Frisbee on an anniversary.)
 
I also met Irena, another lovely young woman who took a few hours out of her day to have a drink and show me around the city. One interesting thing I've learned from talking to people here is how upset most people are with the privatization of things since the fall of Yugoslavia. Tito is not as unpopular as I expected he would be - most people seem to have the attitude that yes, he did some nasty things, but his break from Stalin sort-of made him the father of a unified country that saw peace until after his death and the eventual fall of communism, which lead to all the conflict in the Balkans. And now, because these countries have no institutions in place to regulate development, many businesses that belonged to the country and profited everyone, are now making a very few people very wealthy; The same industries that belonged to, and where built by, the people. It was interesting to hear, anyway, coming from a country where it's assumed that every socialist/ communist (There's a difference?) leader is evil and despised.

Here's a bit of trivia for you: Did you know that the necktie (cravat) was invented in Croatia? Now you do. How about that the stone from the White House comes from an island off the coast? No? Did you know Nikola Tesla was born near Zagreb? Did you know he moved to Colorado Springs? Neither did I. Do you know who Tesla is? If not, then never mind.
 
The next day I went to the Contemporary Art Museum for a laugh. There were a few cool light/ sound pieces that I thought were clever, but the rest seemed to me to be pointless scrap-booking and trash collected by people with no real discernible talent, other than to bullshit other people into believing that their dumpster diving has some deep, profound societal meaning. There - I've said it. If you draw a single line on a white piece of paper, and spend the next hour explaining to me that it's "anti-art", or some other equally nonsensical term, you are not an artist, you are a fraud, and a lazy one at that. I always leave these places feeling like I should ask for a refund at the end, and might have except for the stainless-steel tunnel-slide at the end of the museum, which deposits you outside and deters you from doing so. (Even the slide was crappy- I slowed down, and stopped, about half way through and had to wiggle out the rest of the way.) Psshh....contemporary art.

As for food - strukli is nice - sort of a cream cheese filled ravioli/ strudel hybrid. Ustpici, though... cold, unsweetened fried doughnut balls. They are especially painful if they have a $6.00 price tag, as mine did.
They serve fried trout in the supermarket here - heads, eyeballs, and all. (My friends thought I was demented for cooking them that way. Cultural elitists that the are. You know who you are.)

I took an overnight train to Zadar. The night trains here are not so fun. They have the old style cabins where three people sit on a bench facing the other three. This is great for socializing, but terrible for sleeping, with twelve legs all competing for a spot to stretch out. In Spain once, I found myself in a cabin with five lovely young women. Great, right? Well, try to fall asleep with those other ten legs everywhere not come of as a pervert. I didn't sleep much either night.

Zadar is cool, starting with it's name. (Sounds like someplace Flash Gordon would visit, doesn't it?) But it's largely known for two recent inventions by an modern artist (one with actual talent) who designed a large, circular glass-covered... thing, called the Sun-Sphere. The way it works is that it solar-charges during the day, and gives off a multi-colored disco-floor type light show throughout the night. The entire time I watched it, I never once saw it repeat the same pattern. Nearby he also installed a Sea Organ, that plays notes based on the movement of the waves underneath. This has the effect of someone tuning a pan flute, so there's no real melody or tune, but that never stopped Led Zeppelin. It's still pretty amazing, none-the less. There's an old city and some Roman ruins, too. Blah, blah, blah.. whatever. These are a dime a dozen around here. But there's only one place in the world with a Sun Sphere and Sea Organ!

Then there was Split. Ah... Spilt. I met a woman there, that I will always remember warmly. Let me tell you about her. I had just arrived, and using my Indian bartering skills, tried to convince the apartment touts waiting at the train station that I could find a place to stay for 100 Kuna. This, it turns out, was not true. Even the hostels charge 120+. But, these all seemed to be full, so I went back to the station to dicker when a woman who remembered my 100 Kuna budget directed me to Marica (Maritza). Maritza is 75, has one arm, and speaks only Croatian. But she sat me down and we waited for something, I'm still not sure what. But as we sat there, a man passed, and winked. I couldn't tell who the wink was directed at, but for a brief moment my past experiences made me wonder if this wasn't all part of an elaborate kidney-thieving scheme, with the old woman as a front. I was too tired to care. On the way to the bus stop she offered to carry my bag for me, with her good arm (I refused.). The bus dropped us nearby and she took me to a downstairs apartment that was simple, and mostly clean. She asked if I was going out, I said no, she wished me good night and then locked the door from the outside. (Kidney thief that she was.)

In the morning, I still had my kidneys, and was awakened when she came in, unannounced, with coffee and cookies. This happened a few times while I was getting out of bed, and dressed, until she had supplied me with local grapes, and a small flask of very sweet home-made wine which was all too familiar. It was at that point unmistakeable - she was just like my grandma. She even made the same wine.

The old town of Split is great. Diocletian had his palace here and it hasn't changed too much over the centuries. Stone walls, cobblestone streets, Corinthian pillars fronting Roman temples - it all still there and in use even today. One thing I didn't expect, however, was the number of seedy strip-club flyers around the place. Some of these are quite explicit, featuring dildo shows, snake acts, and something called sado-mazo. If this had once been Caligula's palace, I might understand, but...

I visited the old Roman (of course) city of Salona nearby. Ruins, pillars, theater and colosseum remnants... blah, blah, blah... There was an actor performing a monolog in the ruins nearby that was well attended. It was called "Do You Speak Croatian?" I don't, so left pretty early on.

When I left Marica made me a sandwhich for the road, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I promised to send her a postcard or two (Not that she understood that.) and went down the coast towards Dubrovnik. I tried hitching, which was a mistake - no one was stopping. Well, one guy did, and took me past the little sea-side village of Omis, where he told me about a large, annual Pirate battle that they do every year happening that very night! Apparently, Omis has a long history of piracy, and now that they can't make money of of that anymore, they have cleverly designed a way to get people to part with their money freely. Pirate shows! Pirate ship rides! Pirate days! Pirate souvenirs by the truck full! So, when I couldn't get a ride any further to Dubrovnik, I took a bus back to check it out. Despite asking numerous people about it, everyone knew about it, but no one knew if it was actually that night. Even the official Omis website didn't list it, nor the current Pirate Days that were already taking place. Turns out, the battle was in August, probably the 18th. But tonight there were pirate games! And a pirate parade! And... I went to sleep early that night. (I later looked up the battle online - there's a youtube video of it, and I think I might have been disappointed anyway. Lets just say that it is neither large, nor historically accurate. Good fun for the kids, though, I bet.)


Dubrovnik itself is beautiful... not unlike Split in some ways. Beautiful fortified walls overlooking the ocean, towers, churches, cobblestone streets. And about ten billion tourists who offload there from those massive-monstrosity cruise ships. The one in the harbor allegedly held 3/4 of the population of my home city - 10,000 people! Madness! And they were all bumping into each other down those quaint little streets in the blazing sun until I started to have flashbacks of Dehli. (Minus the cows, cow shit, garbage, dogs, etc. So not like India at all, actually.) They did, eventually, cruise away, leaving the town a little more peaceful. The area is known for it's oysters - raw of course, and I tried a few. I debated for a very short time whether the little wiggly parasitic-looking worm on my plate should distract me from enjoying my meal, but decided that it looked pretty healthy, so they must be good, quality, fresh oysters and slurped them down anyway. (I pointed it out to the waitress afterward, hoping to maybe get a discount, but she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. I played my hand too early, I suppose, by eating them before complaining.

One of the last things I did in Croatia was to eat a gelato called "American Dream". It was nice, but indistinct, and overpriced. Huh.


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